最新消息显示在全站导航条下方,非常给力的推广位置

追忆母亲

人间烟火 昌达空间 1096℃ 0评论

    32年前的8月14日,母亲再也挺不住痨病的煎熬,只留下瘦骨嶙峋的躯体,孤独地离开了她早已厌倦的人世,时年39岁。
  母亲的娘家在南山脚下,外婆早早去世,撇下兄妹两人。外公出身富农,家境优裕,续娶又育三男。
  母亲从小喜爱读书认字,曾入私学就读。外公再娶之后,家庭发生了变化,母亲只能辍学在家,推磨做家务。
  22岁时,母亲已经出落成婷婷玉立的大姑娘,高爽匀称的个头,水灵灵的大眼睛,身后拖着两条长长的大辫子,平时爱说爱笑,通情达理,与邻里和睦相处。经人介绍,外公索取彩礼800元,把母亲嫁给刚从部队转业的父亲。
  大舅城府深,心眼多;父亲耿直刻板,两人性格相去甚远,这桩婚事遭到大舅的反对,直到17年后的1977年,母亲病重,自感在世时间越来越短,非常思念大舅,巴望能够见到大舅一面,妹妹能向唯一的亲哥哥倾诉多年积蓄在内心的苦衷,可是,连这一点点奢望也没能实现。农历六月三十早上,父亲像往常一样来到母亲床前,母亲安静地躺在床上好像还没睡醒。父亲习惯地把手放在母亲的鼻子上,发现母亲已经断气。母亲带着满腹遗憾,暗暗地走了,没有人知道具体是什么时间断的气。母亲走的是如此的平淡,似乎还不如一颗草。那年,我还不满12岁,弟弟刚满5岁。
  死讯传到大舅的耳朵里,大舅只留下淡淡的一句话:“我不用去了,你们处理后事吧。”
  母亲在世短暂的39年,是悲惨的一生,是痛苦的一生。
  1966年6月,我不满一岁,文化大革命爆发,人与人之间的关系错综复杂,在当时,稍有不慎就会被陷入被批斗的漩涡。母亲的成分是富农,被生产队长任某诬陷,母亲关进大队部,开会批斗。我整天饿得哇哇直哭,熬到该喂奶时,父亲把我抱进大队部,母亲见我哭得鼻泪模糊,忍不住抱着我就大哭一场…….
  为了躲避灾难,谋求生存,6月底,母亲抱着我跟随父亲背井离乡,来到吉林省郑家屯的玻璃山。逃荒关外,四壁空空,一穷二白,母亲是一位刚强而又乐观的女性,认为“穷无生根,富无长苗”,只要自己肯干,虽身处异乡,人地两生,照样能够过上好日子,早日摆脱寄人篱下的寄居生活,在东北立稳脚跟。
  五千里之外的玻璃山,饮食特点和生活习俗与关内差异很大,母亲心灵手巧,什么事都难不住自己:河南的蒸馒头,到东北的贴饽饽(大饼子);河南的西瓜酱炒菜,到东北的野菜沾大酱;河南的烙饼馍,到东北的摊煎饼;河南的玉米糁,到东北的二米饭;河南的芥菜丝,到东北的腌酸菜……一学就会。
  那个年代,喂猪是家庭最基本的收入。母亲自信地说,养猪比较合算,猪不会和人争口粮,东北地广人稀,生长有各种各样的野菜,只要不嫌麻烦,不到一年就能养出两头大猪,那可是一笔不小的家庭收入啊!要不到五年,就能买到自己的房子。
  每到中午吃罢饭,母亲背着我唱着歌越过铁路,来到田野里挖野菜,回家后把野菜统统摊在地上,母亲认真地把苘麻菜(苣荬菜,苘么菜)、婆婆丁、马食菜能够代替粮食吃的种类一颗一颗地检出来,以弥补食物,填充饥肠。其余的灰灰菜、赤角芽等统统摁进大锅里煮熟,发酵后用来喂猪。
  那个年代粮食紧缺,经常吃的玉米面从来也不舍得过箩隔皮,做出来的饽饽粗涩难咽,即使如此,往往是吃了上顿没下顿。母亲为了给我增加一些营养,家里喂了十几只鸡子,保证我每天都能够吃上一个蒸鸡蛋。没有油,没有作料,母亲有办法,把鸡蛋磕开倒进碗里,撒些咸盐,放在锅里炖熟,味道是那样的鲜美!
  东北人有整洁干净的传统,母亲更是喜爱整洁的女性。每天早早起来,把屋内家具擦拭一遍,该放哪里的家什,使用后一定还要放回原处。忙活好大一阵子,连忙哄我穿衣起床,然后把被褥摆叠整齐摆放在炕头,用花单子将被褥遮盖起来,炕上到地上,处处显得整齐漂亮。
  母亲颀长匀称的体型,微微隆起的胸脯和丰满的翘臀,勾成完美的曲线,两条大辫子一直拖到腰围。和别的女性一样,母亲天生爱美,即使再忙,每天早上都要打扮一番。一扣一扣地把辫子解开,从上到下梳理几遍,然后再一扣一扣地编成麻花型,甩在身后。虽然那时的化妆品十分单一,母亲也忘不了擦一点白嫩的友谊雪花膏。我从小就喜欢母亲对镜梳妆的姿态,每当母亲梳理打扮时,总是站在母亲身边仰望着母亲美丽的脸庞。只要母亲打扮完,就会高兴地抱起我亲上几口:“乖宝、宝蛋子……”
  母亲有文化,性格外向,好说好笑,高兴时还会抱着我又跳又唱,母亲更喜欢看书。如果上午有空,或晚上入睡前,母亲都要把我揽在怀里,拿出厚厚的小说,一句一句地念给我听。我常常躺在母亲的怀抱里不知不觉地进入梦乡,梦见了《闪闪的红星》里的潘冬子,我和潘冬子肩并肩,手拉手;梦见我也拥有一颗闪亮的五角星,肩上扛着一只长枪,雄赳赳气昂昂地跟随部队出发。
  《闪闪的红星》、《钢铁是怎样炼成的》、《苦菜花》等几部小说,都是从母亲的怀抱里熟知的。大土豪胡汉三、勇敢的少年潘冬子、保尔.柯察金等人物,至今记忆犹新。冬子的母亲被杀害,冬子失去了母亲,自己却显得更加坚强,母亲念到这里时,我担心地问母亲:“爸爸打鬼子去了,只有冬子自己,咋办?”母亲抚摸着我的额头说:“潘冬子是勇敢的孩子。你长大后,也要像冬子和保尔一样,坚强、勇敢,做个有志气的男子汉!”

1.jpg

  北方温度低,气候寒冷,和中原的气候相比,悬殊甚大。1973秋,弟弟出生,还没有满月,母亲就到外面剁菜喂猪,以致受凉感冒。母亲很要强,认为自己年轻,感冒咳嗽不算病,不用吃药,熬些日子自然会好,可怕的是母亲咳嗽越来越严重,转变为气管炎。得了气管炎是十分痛苦的,这种病会使人浑身无力,肌肉酸痛,整天不断地剧烈咳嗽,甚至咳出血痰,往往一口气憋得面色涨红,双眼流泪。1975年,母亲实在推不过去,只好连续注射青霉素20天,咳喘才有所减轻,为了尽可能地减轻家庭经济负担,母亲推说自己的病已经好了。
  第二年入冬,咳嗽再次复发,经卫生院诊断,气管炎已经转变为肺结核。肺结核,可是不治之症。七十年代,治疗肺结核的链霉素,是紧俏药品,平常人很难买到。父亲跑前跑后,大队到公社,公社到卫生院,历经半个月,才买来一盒十只;又往河南老家寄信求助,花费一个月的时间,大伯才寄来一盒救命仙丹“大连产链霉素”。断断续续的药物治疗,贫困的生活,严重的营养缺乏,导致母亲的病情愈加严重。
  1976年冬,母亲已经病入膏肓,脸上看上去似乎就是一具骷髅,仅有的一层薄薄的肉皮紧裹着骨头,如同一张黄纸贴在脸上,苍黄憔悴,一双深陷的大眼睛,呆滞无神,丰满的身躯变成了干枯的骨架。母亲被疾病折磨得痛不欲生,她早已失去女人梳理打扮的天性。即便如此,母亲强忍病痛,做一些力所能及的家务,然后喘着带有弦音的粗气,独自坐在炕头,背靠被子,僵板着脸,瞪着眼睛,一言不发,慢慢休息缓解。由于病重,母亲的脾气异常暴躁,动不动就发火,母亲的神态让我至今想起来又痛心又恐惧。那年我11岁,每逢下学回家,先站在窗口向屋里看,如果父亲不在,就不敢进屋,独自站在门口,一直等到父亲放工,才跟着父亲进屋。记得有一次,我在门口等到天黑,父亲才放工回家。父亲看到我这么晚了还坐在大门口,就问我:“你才不进屋哩?”我低头不言,父亲紧接着呵斥我:“屋里有鬼?”这后来,我就更加恐惧了。母亲知道后,把我揽在怀里大哭:“往后,妈妈不嚷(怪)你了!”
  1977年春节刚过的一个晚上,我跟随父亲在邻居家做客回来,突然不见了母亲。父亲跑着前后院找个遍,仍不见母亲的身影。父亲很紧张,好像感觉到了什么,领着我径直往村东的人造林走去,远远看到母亲蹒跚前移的羸弱身影,腋下夹着一盘麻绳……父亲感到非常痛苦和无助,断然决定,将新房卖掉,一家四口返回老家河南,无论如何也不能将母亲的一把骨头仍在异乡。
  值得一提的是,我们全家四口转车到郑州火车站时,由于票额不足,被检票人员带进一间屋子。父亲报着试试的态度,找到郑州站站长。我记得非常清晰,站长是个40多岁富富态态的女人,留着一头短发,慈眉善目,当她看到我们一家四口大的大、小的小,特别是病重的母亲时,恻隐之心顿然而生,特意开具“乘车免票证明信”,一路绿灯,一直到家。进站口检票员看到这封证明信时,诧异地看了看我们,说:“这比车票还厉害!”
  祝愿那位不知名的郑州女站长,健康长寿,永远幸福!
  回到家乡,父亲利用在吉林的卖房钱,把母亲送进县医院住院治疗一个月,买房钱花完了,也没有把母亲从痨病中夺回来,老天不公。
  母亲,您在哪里?如果您还活着,即使孩儿不孝顺,每月给你百十元,您也不用再去吃带皮的玉米面,也不用再去吃马食菜……
  母亲,您在哪里?如果您还活着,当我遇到磕磕绊绊时,仍然依偎在您的身旁,倾吐苦衷。
  母亲,您在哪里?您知道吗?现在不是您抱着我去大队看电影的时代了,也不是抱着我念小说的年代了,如果你还活着,我给您会买一台最好的电视机!
  母亲,我知道,您走了,您不会再花孩儿的一分钱!
  二月二、十月一,孩儿会准时到墓地敬拜您。如果纸钱能花,如果祭品您能够接到,您就随意地享用,花完后再托梦给我。
  母亲,您不必挂念,孩儿过的很好,您安息吧! 

转载请注明:贞吉网 » 追忆母亲

喜欢 (0)
发表我的评论
取消评论
表情
(27)个小伙伴在吐槽
  1. I have been browsing online greater than 3 hours as of late, but I by no means discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours. It's beautiful price enough for me. In my view, if all web owners and bloggers made excellent content as you probably did, the web can be a lot more useful than ever before. asmr 0mniartist
    匿名2021-04-12 02:55
  2. Nice blog here! Also your web site loads up fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol 0mniartist asmr (tinyurl.com)
    匿名2021-04-14 22:45
  3. Thank you for another great post. The place else could anybody get that type of info in such a perfect approach of writing? I have a presentation next week, and I am at the search for such information. asmr (http://tinyurl.com/yjkc5wd7) 0mniartist
    匿名2021-04-16 13:25
  4. You're so interesting! I do not suppose I've read through something like this before. So wonderful to find another person with some genuine thoughts on this subject matter. Seriously.. thank you for starting this up. This website is one thing that is needed on the internet, someone with a little originality! my blog :: gamefly when
    匿名2021-04-28 11:06
  5. Admiring the hard work you put into your website and detailed information you present. It's good to come across a blog every once in a while that isn't the same unwanted rehashed information. Excellent read! I've bookmarked your site and I'm including your RSS feeds to my Google account. My web-site :: asmr with
    匿名2021-04-29 06:51
  6. Currently it seems like Movable Type is the top blogging platform out there right now. (from what I've read) Is that what you are using on your blog? Also visit my blog :: of asmr
    匿名2021-04-29 09:19
  7. I couldn't resist commenting. Perfectly written! Stop by my blog ... asmr that
    匿名2021-04-29 19:41
  8. Great post. I used to be checking continuously this blog and I'm impressed! Extremely helpful information particularly the closing phase 🙂 I care for such information a lot. I was looking for this particular info for a long time. Thanks and good luck. Here is my page ... gamefly when
    匿名2021-05-04 05:42
  9. Great post however I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this topic? I'd be very grateful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Cheers! Feel free to surf to my website :: where asmr
    匿名2021-05-04 12:52
  10. Woah! I'm really loving the template/theme of this blog. It's simple, yet effective. A lot of times it's tough to get that "perfect balance" between superb usability and appearance. I must say that you've done a very good job with this. Additionally, the blog loads very quick for me on Safari. Excellent Blog! my website; asmr (bitly.com)
    匿名2021-05-07 21:06
  11. This information is worth everyone's attention. How can I find out more? Stop by my webpage ... asmr in
    匿名2021-05-09 16:42
  12. scoliosis (bitly.com) Its such as you learn my thoughts! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the ebook in it or something. I think that you simply can do with a few percent to force the message house a little bit, but instead of that, this is wonderful blog. A fantastic read. I will certainly be back. scoliosis
    匿名2021-05-15 16:01
  13. scoliosis Hi, this weekend is fastidious for me, because this moment i am reading this fantastic informative post here at my home. scoliosis - bitly.com,
    匿名2021-05-16 18:29
  14. free dating sites Hello, i feel that i saw you visited my blog so i got here to return the favor?.I'm attempting to in finding issues to improve my website!I suppose its adequate to use some of your ideas!! dating sites my site https://6869milesoflove.tumblr.com/
    匿名2021-05-19 15:06
  15. scoliosis (http://t.co/) We're a gaggle of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your website offered us with useful information to work on. You have performed an impressive process and our whole community might be thankful to you. scoliosis
    匿名2021-05-19 19:06
  16. free dating sites It's going to be end of mine day, but before finish I am reading this great paragraph to improve my experience. free dating sites https://785days.tumblr.com/
    匿名2021-05-20 09:13
  17. Hi, i feel that i saw you visited my site thus i came to return the want?.I am trying to to find things to improve my site!I suppose its ok to make use of some of your ideas!! Stop by my site: why asmr
    匿名2021-05-21 21:10
  18. I blog often and I genuinely appreciate your information. This article has really peaked my interest. I will bookmark your website and keep checking for new details about once per week. I opted in for your RSS feed as well. Stop by my web-site; our free dating sites
    匿名2021-05-26 07:43
  19. What i don't realize is in reality how you are not actually a lot more well-appreciated than you may be right now. You are so intelligent. You realize thus considerably with regards to this subject, made me personally imagine it from a lot of various angles. Its like men and women are not fascinated until it is one thing to do with Woman gaga! Your own stuffs excellent. Always take care of it up! Visit my web site: the dating sites
    匿名2021-05-27 00:47
  20. when free dating sites someone writes an article he/she maintains the image of a user in his/her mind that how a user can know it. So that's why this paragraph is amazing. Thanks!
    匿名2021-05-29 18:26
  21. Hello there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it's truly informative. I'm gonna watch out for brussels. I'll appreciate if you continue this in future. A lot of people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers! Check out my site :: surgery scoliosis but
    匿名2021-05-30 19:43
  22. What's up, this weekend is pleasant designed for me, since surgery scoliosis this time i am reading this enormous educational paragraph here at my home.
    匿名2021-05-31 08:15
  23. Hey dating sites there I am so delighted I found your webpage, I really found you by mistake, while I was searching on Aol for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a fantastic post and a all round exciting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don't have time to look over it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the fantastic work.
    匿名2021-05-31 17:35
  24. Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite reason appeared to be on the net the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people consider worries that they just don't know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks Feel free to surf to my web site ... there web hosting (http://tinyurl.com/ygfq7t9s)
    匿名2021-08-10 14:30
  25. We absolutely love your blog and find most of your post's to be exactly I'm looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content ps4 games in (tinyurl.com) your case? I wouldn't mind producing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write concerning here. Again, awesome weblog!
    匿名2021-08-11 05:01
  26. Hi! I could have sworn I've been to this site before but after checking through some of the post I realized it's new to me. Nonetheless, I'm definitely happy I found it and I'll be bookmarking and checking back frequently! Check out my homepage - your ps4 games (bitly.com)
    匿名2021-08-11 18:40
  27. I know this if off topic but I'm looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is needed to get set up? I'm assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I'm not very with web hosting - tinyurl.com, smart so I'm not 100% certain. Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks
    匿名2021-08-12 08:57